i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
