Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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