He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
