I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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