Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
