I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
