so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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