ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
NoShamevember. You game?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
