at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize