forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
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