How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
