Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
