How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
