This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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