i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
