Who wears a wallet chain?!
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
