im holly from the hills drunk
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I wear drunk well.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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