I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
