Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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