I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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