did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
