my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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