Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize