two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
