If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
