So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
my liver is dry heaving
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
