I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
