U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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