At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Randomize
