Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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