Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Randomize