Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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