And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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