You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
