His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
