I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Randomize
