Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
