I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
