Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
