She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
