Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
accomplished twins. life is a go
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Come on in and take your pants off
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