all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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