She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
