Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
