we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Randomize
