My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
