I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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