it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize