Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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