hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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