I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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