i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
