I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
