This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
