its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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