I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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