So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
