fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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