I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I don't deserve a penis
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
