he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
