Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize