Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
