It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize