we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
